


Shattered Loyalties

by B_Rabbit14



Category: Dream SMP (Fandom), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Unresolved Emotional Tension, birthday gift to a friend, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29340708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Rabbit14/pseuds/B_Rabbit14
Summary: His friendships were his everything.He treasured each one as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. In a sense, they were.Sometimes though, he'd doubt their worth and wonder if one day they'd disappear and leave him alone again. He didn't want that. He needed them.But did they need him?---Sapnap's being forced to watch as his friends slowly drift away and fall apart around him. He wants to helps, he truly does.But what good can a worthless being such as himself do?
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs & Sapnap
Comments: 5
Kudos: 91





	Shattered Loyalties

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sleepy_Sho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_Sho/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for a wonderful friend of mine, filled with two things they like!
> 
> Angst....
> 
> And Sapnap.
> 
> Enjoy!~

His friendships were his everything.

He treasured each one as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. In a sense, they were.

Sometimes though, he'd doubt their worth and wonder if one day they'd disappear and leave him alone again. He didn't want that. He needed them.

But did they need him?

* * *

_ "Do you think we'll be friends forever?" _

He'd been twelve back then. So young and so naive. He'd asked the question in a near whisper with a haunted look in his eyes. At his side was his first friend, Dream. 

The masked boy had been the first to accept him, destructive tendencies and all. He stuck by Dream's side throughout the years and Dream stayed by him in return. They became close, like brothers.

Like  _ family _ .

_ "Of course, you idiot," _

Dream had scoffed and playfully shoved his shoulder, nearly knocking him off balance.

_ "How can you be so sure?" _

He asked in a voice so unlike his normal boisterous tone causing Dream's barely visible mouth to dip into a frown. The older swung an arm over his shoulder and pulled him close. Dream was quiet and for a moment he worried he'd said something wrong. So when Dream pulled him even closer and wrapped his arm over his shoulder into a hug he was surprised.

_ "Because we're family, Pandas..." _

He could've been mistaken but he swore Dream's voice wavered when he spoke. It sounded strained and so full of emotion. His eyes began to burn but he didn't fight the tears as they slid down his cheeks. With trembling hands, he returned the embrace and held tightly onto the older. He didn't hesitate to bury his head into Dream's shoulder. Dream pulled him closer and allowed him to cry into his sweater.

_ They were family... _

That had to have been the most painful lie to pierce his heart.

_ "I don't give a  _ fuck _ about Spirit! I don't give a fuck about anything, actually!" _

It had taken all his willpower to not break right then and there. He wanted to scream, beg and plead for someone to tell him it wasn't true. 

He was pathetic for feeling this desperate for reassurance. He was nothing without Dream and he knew it, the other knew it. He had to have known. Dream wouldn't have said something like that otherwise.

That night he didn't sleep opting to ask himself what he did wrong? He mulled over any and all past mistakes that could've led up to this moment.

His only answer was his sobs echoing throughout his room.

* * *

_ "Georgie, can I have a hug?" _

He asked cheekily to the brit who had his back turned to him as he busied his hands with replacing a hole in the stone wall caused by him and Dream scuffling around the courthouse. The other raised a brow and shook his head with a fond smile.

_ "What? No," _

George had replied in an annoyed tone they both knew was fake if only to keep up appearances. The brunette continued his task, ignoring how the taller moved toward his side and leaned in his face.

_ "Georgie, can I  _ please _ have a hug?" _

He tried again and laughed when the other pushed his face away with a chuckle. His friendship with George was complicated but still as strong as any of his others. He often got into many arguments with the other but they ended up resolved in one way or another. Dream used to often tease the two about how their teamwork was horrible, they were both too prideful to listen to each other. It was often their downfall during most manhunts.

_ "No, get away from me," _

George shoved him back playfully and he laughed loudly in return. When it called for it, they managed to put their differences aside and work through just about anything. Memories of finally trapping Dream and blocking him in with their weapons poised proved this. Dream would smile and clap, pleased with their work, and admit defeat quickly, saying they'd earned it.

_ "He doesn't care about us, he said so himself," _

He wanted to hit himself as he watched the shorter's expression fall. George shook his head silently in disbelief and he wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug.

_ "You're all I got now," _

He tried to be there for George but the older chose to pull away rather than recuperate his attempts. He tried to understand. He knew feelings were hard for the brunette to express but as time went on he saw less and less of the man.

He wasn't enough for George to stay. He didn't blame him though. He'd want to leave himself behind if he was in the other's position.

It didn't make it hurt any less.

* * *

_ "You fucked up," _

Sapnap watched with a blank expression as Quackity laughed darkly in Dream's direction.

It hurt, watching the other teen fall deeper and deeper in the pit of despair and revenge. Quackity's once warm eyes were slowly replaced by two pools of manic energy. His humor gradually gave way to a bitter attitude that hovered over him like a dark cloud. The Hispanic male kept away from him most days and he wouldn't have been surprised if it was because he'd been close to Dream.

He tried to be there. He tried so very hard to support Quackity and reassure him he wasn't alone. That he was someone who he could trust.

Once again he proved to be useless.

Once again he was left behind.

* * *

_ "Karl, you can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself," _

Karl was losing himself. He could see it in the way his bright eyes slowly dimmed after every trip to the past. His friend was bearing the weight of all their mistakes as if he alone needed to fix them.

_ "I have to, Sap. I have to do my part to help our friends," _

He'd shaken his head with a sad smile that turned into a grimace as he shivered for an unknown reason. Karl turned back to his books and continued writing. He felt tears spring from his eyes at the sight of what his friend had been reduced to. 

_ "Killing yourself isn't going to help anyone!" _

Karl giggled and turned to face him again. Those dull eyes bore into his with a numb sense of resignation that shook him to his very core. Those were not the eyes of his bubbly friend, they looked like those of a person who's seen all the world's tragedies in one sitting. For all he knew Karl had, the other never delved into what the past showed him. He watched as the other male shakily stood from his chair and made his way over to him. Karl gave him and closed-eyed smile, his body trembled with the effort to keep himself standing.

_ "I'm not killing myself, silly," _

Karl reassured and leaned forward looping his arms around the taller's neck. A tear spilled over his cheek as he held Karl closer and buried his face into his fluffy hair.

_ "And even if this does kill me, it'll be worth it. I'd do anything to see everyone smile again..." _

Karl's breath shuddered and slowed and he fell asleep in his warm embrace. He picked the other up and slowly placed Karl in his bed before tucking him in like a mother would for a child. He gazed sadly down at the sleeping male as tears continued to flow.

The next day he saw Karl for the last time.

* * *

His friendships meant everything to him. The people he surrounded himself with, held his spirit together like glue. Each one had a different place in his heart but he loved them all the same.

He wished he could apologize to them. He wished he could ask them what he did wrong, what he could've done better.

In the end, he truly was useless.

Wasn't he?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very pleased with how this came out. I thought it was high time I tried writing for a different character as practice. (I'm a Dream apologist a heart don't judge me) This was very easy for me to get out, I literally blinked and it was done. So yeah!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed please leave a comment if you do! I try to reply to all of them and I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts!
> 
> I have other works in this fandom if your interested, so check those out if you want.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Bye!


End file.
